Notes from lockdown
It has been just over three weeks since the UK went into lockdown for Coronavirus. I thought it would be good to document three things I have discovered about myself and this situation so that I can look back and remember this strangest of times.
Lots of things feel like breaking the rules
Some work I do in my job comes under the key worker label as it can only be done on hospital sites. These sites can be anywhere in the UK. What this meant was, a couple of days into lockdown, I travelled from Manchester to Kent which is a six hour drive. It was very eerie passing sign after sign saying ‘stay at home’, ‘protect the NHS’ and seeing helicopters and military vehicles placed along the route. It genuinely felt like I was in a dystopian novel and I was convinced that I was going to be stopped at any point so had my NHS badges and email from the customer at the ready. Going to the hospital, staying in the hotel, and driving I wanted some way to prove that I was allowed out and wasn’t one of the ‘other’ people.
Familiar feeling when walking
I’ve taken to walking to the shops when I need to get more food as it gets some fresh air and exercise. It does mean that you’re constantly watching out for other people, keeping distance, and crossing the road or walking in it to avoid people. It took me a while to place why the feeling was familiar and then I got it.
It’s exactly how it feels walking home at night alone.
Prior to the pandemic, I wouldn’t give people a second glance during the day but walking at night everyone takes on a new threat level. There is this hyper awareness of who is around, where they are going, and perceived level of threat which is all the time now.
A new motivation
Social media and the internet is full of people discovering new talents, improving skills, and generally keeping busy while they have been stuck at home and I am no different. I have improved cooking skills (in particular bread and pasta), am learning a new guitar song each week, and have been writing more. Putting this website together is a direct response to the lockdown.
However, I have been motivated by guilt rather than by time. People have been reacting in horror to living a similar life to the one I was already living. Having entire weekends with no plans where I will possibly have no face to face interaction with other people is non uncommon for me. In a strange way, I actually have less time this lockdown than I did before. I’ve been in contact with friends far more regularly, have competed in pub quizzes, attended movie nights and even went to the (virtual) theatre.
I have been roused into action by guilt at the time I have wasted. Everything I have taken up are things I enjoy and I have been able to fit them into my days whilst still spending copious time watching TV and playing Animal Crossing and Two Point Hospital on the Nintendo Switch.
I hope this motivation continues when we are allowed out in the world again without fear of breaking the rules or fear of other people.
